The Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah is a special day of joy and celebration. It is customary to honor friends and family during the service.

An aliyah is an opportunity for any Jewish friend or family member 13 years or older to be called to the Torah and chant the blessings. To help your family members prepare, you can follow along with Cantor Gurney chanting the blessing before the Torah reading and after the Torah reading. You can also share this transliterated blessing sheet for them to practice.

More questions about honors? Please check out our FAQs.

We ask that all families complete this form at least one month prior to your service date.

At-home b’nei mitzvah tutoring is available for all students for an additional fee of $1,500. Please note that 100% of this goes directly to the tutors. Students meet with their tutor 24 times, over the course of 7 months. Each session lasts 30-45 minutes.

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Questioning is a central religious and spiritual act of the Jewish people. Asking questions is an art form, one we develop over the course of our lives. The questions you formulate as you read your Torah portion (parashah) will be the basis of your d’var Torah (Torah speech) at your service. This is your opportunity to teach your community about what you think and believe about your Torah portion and how it relates to your life. The d’var Torah is prepared under the guidance and direction of your assigned Rabbi, and delivered to the synagogue community immediately before chanting your Torah portion. Students attend at least three meetings with their rabbi, beginning around seven months prior to the service.

In addition to Torah study, gratitude is also a central component of Shabbat and we want to give our Bar, Bat and B'nei Mitzvah students an opportunity to thank the special people who helped them prepare. The student will be invited to offer a short expression of gratitude and thanks after the Haftarah and blessing. The thank you should be no more than one paragraph and focus on the people who helped them prepare for the service.

Here are some helpful steps for studying your Torah portion:

• Prior to your second meeting with your rabbi, read your entire parasha (Torah portion) out loud several times (preferably with parents or a Jewish educator). You can also watch a 3-minute clip from bimbam.com (formerly g-dcast.com) that tells the story of the parsha hashavua, or Torah portion of the week.
• Write down the “big ideas” in your Torah portion. For example, if your Torah portion is about sacrifices and all the detail surrounding them, the big idea might be “What is the point of sacrifice?”
• Now, as you read your portion again, write down a minimum of ten questions or comments. You might want to think about:
  • What inspires or interests you in this text
  • What confuses or bothers you in this text
  • The unexpected use of a word or phrase
  • The actions of a particular character
  • A strange or unfamiliar concept, idea or practice
  • Any connections you see between this text and other parts of Jewish life
  • Any connections you see between this text and other parts of your life
• After you’ve compiled your questions, read them over again and choose some meaningful ideas or questions you want to explore more. Finding something that is meaningful to YOU is what will ultimately make it meaningful for others as well.
• After you’ve had a chance to formulate your own ideas about your Torah portion, you might want to check out an ancient commentary, like Rashi, or a modern one, like the Women’s Torah Commentary or commentary from ReformJudaism.org.

Now it’s time to start writing! In the beginning, don’t worry about length. Just start writing -- that is hard enough! At the end of the process, you will want your d’var Torah to be about 2-4 pages double spaced with 12 point font and default margins.

• Start you d’var Torah with a brief, four to seven sentence overview of your Torah portion. You do not need to go into detail here. This is meant to only give the congregation a taste of what is going on. The real meat should come in the next sections since those are your actual teaching sections.
• First, state the ONE point you found most meaningful or interesting. Now it’s time to SHOW the community how and why this is meaningful to you (we use the word show instead of tell deliberately!). Show them using personal examples and details. Paint them a picture using words. Create a snapshot of how your point plays out in your life (this should be the longest section of your d’var Torah).
• Now bring it home. SHOW the congregation how and why your point should be important to them. Give them something to do. Give them examples of how your teaching could potentially relate to their lives.

We can’t wait to learn with you!

Speaking to your child after he or she reads from the Torah is a rare and precious moment in a parent’s life. Blessings should be about your child’s character, your hopes and dreams for your child and about the value of Torah, tradition, family and Jewish commitment. You might want to ask yourself:

• When you think about your child, what thoughts come to mind? What are you most thankful for? What are you most proud of?
• When you think about your child becoming Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah, what do you feel? What are your thoughts about your child leading services and reading Torah? About your child being “counted” as a Jewish adult?
• When you think about your child’s future in general; what hopes, dreams or wishes do you have for him/her?
• When you think about your child’s future as a Jewish adult, what do you hope for?

Some helpful hints:

• The verbs in blessings are usually done in “may ___ be” construction
• Don’t be afraid to put your hands on the person you are blessing. Physical contact is not only appropriate, but it is also historically proper and very moving
• Dont’ be afraid of repeating a phrase (e.g. May God grant you X, May God grant you Y, May God grant you Z…)
• End your blessing with a phrase so that it is known that the blessing is over (e.g. May this be your blessings, And let us say: Amen).
• The most successful parent blessings are written out ahead of time and typically no more than one page per parent

Please bring your blessings to the first rehearsal with Cantor Gurney, Cantor Shapiro or Cantor Peicott.

All students having a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah at Wilshire Boulevard Temple are required to complete a Tikkun Olam Project. Details about the Tikkun Olam project are shared with the larger Temple community in the Wilshire Boulevard Temple bulletin. We ask all students to answer the following questions for the bulletin:

• What does Tikkun Olam mean to you?
• What do you commit to doing after you become a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah to help make the world a better place?

There are three ways for B'nei Mitzvah students to fulfill this requirement:

• Participation in the religious school's 7th grade program, WBTYhelps (please note all students having a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah at Wilshire Boulevard Temple must participate in this program)
• Volunteering at least 10 hours at a non-profit organization
• A project of their own creation, based on the student interest and passions