Wilshire Boulevard Temple Religious School

A Bar Mitzvah, "son of the commandment," or Bat Mitzvah, "daughter of the commandment" is a Jewish rite of passage. B'nei is the plural form of the words “Bar” and “Bat”. The Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah ceremony formally and publicly acknowledges that a young person has reached the age when he or she is no longer a minor according to Jewish law and is thereby obligated to take on new religious privileges and the responsibilities of an adult. Among other things, these include moral responsibility for one’s own actions and eligibility to read from the Torah. 

At Wilshire Boulevard Temple all students celebrate becoming Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah at age thirteen. In some circumstances, services may be scheduled up to three months prior to the 13th birthday. If your child is having his or her service in Israel, it may be scheduled up to 6 months prior to the 13th birthday.

During the Friday night service before the Saturday service, the mother of the Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah is invited to recite the blessing over the candles, and light the Shabbat candles. Following the service, the Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah family recites the Kiddush, the blessing over the wine, and Motzi, the blessing over the challah, together with the cantor and rabbi. 

Parents are also invited to sit on the bimah during Saturday morning services. Stepparents are only invited to sit on the bimah if all parties agree to this in writing. There are many honors for close family and friends throughout the Shabbat morning service. At the beginning of the Torah service, the Torah is taken out of the Ark for a special passing of the Torah ceremony. The Torah is symbolically passed from parent to child, from generation to generation. Family members can also be honored with an aliyah (the blessing before and after the reading of the Torah), by opening the ark for the Amidah, dressing the Torah (G’lilah), or opening the ark before the Aleinu.

Parents are also invited to offer a brief blessing to their child after the words of gratitude. Speaking to your child after he, she or they reads from the Torah is a rare and precious moment in a parent’s life. When preparing your blessing, please make certain the blessing is about your child’s character, your hopes and dreams for your child and about the value of Torah, tradition, family and Jewish commitment. The most successful blessings do not exceed one page per parent.

An aliyah is an opportunity for any Jewish friend or family member of B'nei Mitzvah age (13 years or older) to be called to the Torah and chant the blessings before and after the Torah reading.

We recognize the uniqueness of each family's situation. We do not want anyone to compromise his or her beliefs or identity, nor do we wish anyone to take on a role or speak words that are not consistent with his or her religious identity. We also understand that this is a joyous occasion for the whole family, and that all family members have made a commitment to participation in Jewish life.

While non-Jewish family members are invited to stand with the Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah during an aliyah, we do not call them to the Torah and invite them to chant the aliyah. The blessings before and after reading from the Torah refer to the obligations Jews owe to God, and thus it is not considered fitting (as it is not their obligation) for them to lead the congregation in these blessings. We do invite all family members, regardless of religion, to participate in all other honors including offering a parent blessing, opening the Ark before the Amidah and Aleinu, and dressing the Torah (G’lilah). Please use these principles in assigning honors to your family. If you have any questions about your family's participation in services, please feel free to consult with the Cantor, one of the Rabbis, or the Director of B’nei Mitzvah Engagement.

The rabbi and cantor for your celebration will be assigned approximately 10 months in advance. Clergy are assigned on a rotational basis and understandably not all clergy are available on all weekends. If you have a relationship with one of our clergy, please let us know. While we cannot promise to honor specific requests, this information is nevertheless helpful to us.

This is not our tradition at Wilshire Boulevard Temple. If you have more questions, please contact the Cantor's Office at cantorsoffice@wbtla.org.

The Shabbat before a couple gets married, there is a custom to throw candy at them when they are called to the Torah. This is to wish them a sweet new life as a married couple. In the last 50 years or so, some have extended this custom to a B'nei Mitzvah services. While it's meaningful to connect the act of taking on greater responsibility within the Jewish community with the sweetness of our tradition, the reality is a messy, loud, and chaotic experience in the middle of a service. This can be very disruptive for the Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah child so we have a "no candy" policy during our services. Save the sweetness for after the service!

As a Reform congregation, all students have the option of wearing kippot and tallitot during the service, though we encourage it at Wilshire Boulevard Temple. As wearing a tallit is a special privilege and responsibility of becoming a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah, each child participates in a special tallit ceremony with Wilshire Boulevard Temple clergy immediately prior to the Shabbat morning service. While we do have a small number of tallitot and kippot available for use during the service, parents often choose to bring a tallit that has family meaning or use one that was made during Wilshire Boulevard Temple’s religious school or at Brawerman Elementary School. Finally, you can also purchase a new one as a special gift for your child.

At Wilshire Boulevard Temple we believe that every person deserves the opportunity to celebrate becoming a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah. We know that not all students learn the same way, they do not have the same natural talents or abilities, and they come from very different life experiences. We are committed to working with every student, and to making this event a truly positive and enriching experience for every family. We look forward to working towards this goal for your child's ceremony.

B'nei mitzvah students do four major things on the day of their service: (1) chant Torah, (2) chant Haftarah, (3) lead parts of the service, and (4) teach Torah (deliver a d'var Torah or speech). If it is a double service, students lead parts of the service together. The other elements (chanting from Torah, Haftarah and delivering a d'var Torah) are done individually.

All students having a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah at Wilshire Boulevard Temple are required to complete a Tikkun Olam Project. Details about the Tikkun Olam project are shared with the larger Temple community in the Wilshire Boulevard Temple bulletin. We ask all students to answer the following questions for the bulletin:

• What does Tikkun Olam mean to you?
• What do you commit to doing after you become a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah to help make the world a better place?

There are three ways for B'nei Mitzvah students to fulfill this requirement:

• Participation in the religious school's 7th grade program, WBTYhelps (please note all students having a Bar, Bat or B'nei Mitzvah at Wilshire Boulevard Temple must participate in this program)
• Volunteering at least 10 hours at a non-profit organization
• A project of their own creation, based on the student interest and passions

More questions? Please feel free to contact your officiating rabbi, or Lisa Alpern, Director of B'nei Mitzvah Engagement.

We are there for you! If you are Temple members in good standing and your child is enrolled in one of our schools, our tutors and clergy will help prepare your child. Please note that while our clergy cannot officiate the service in Israel, we do recommend several wonderful rabbis in Israel with whom we work closely. Additionally, we invite your family to join us for a Friday night service in Los Angeles, to share in candlelighting and Kiddush, and so we can present your child with a special gift on behalf of the Wilshire Boulevard Temple community. Please note that the service in Israel must be held no more than six months prior to the child's 13th birthday.

Please contact our Lisa Alpern, Director of B'nei Mitzvah Engagement, at lalpern@wbtla.org, to discuss details and so we can figure out how to best support you.

Please contact the Cantor's office at cantorsoffice@wbtla.org.

At Wilshire Boulevard Temple we are blessed with a chapel and a national landmark sanctuary of extraordinary beauty. Please consider your necklines and hemlines when dressing for Temple and remind your children that although strapless and low-cut dresses are in fashion, they are not appropriate for religious services. When choosing shoes for your child, we recommend wearing shoes that can be worn while standing for long periods of time. We strongly encourage lower or no heels to mitigate any discomfort during services.

No, you are not required to host a Kiddush lunch (meal following the service), though many families choose to do so. We have several venues at both campuses for Kiddush lunch and reservations are made on a first-come, first-serve basis. 

We encourage families that share the bimah to discuss their plans with each other before finalizing any requests. For additional questions please contact Cheryl Garland, Events and Program Manager at cgarland@wbtla.org.